I'd Lie
by randomness247
Summary: A song-fic of Nessie's feelings for Jacob, based on the song by Taylor Swift


**"I'd Lie"**

"Great, a sunny day," I said sarcastically.  
>"I thought you liked sunny days. It's not very often that we get them. We live in the rainiest place in the world, after all," my mother said.<br>"I know. The sun doesn't bother me. It's just means you won't be there at school with me."  
>"Why would you need us with you?" she asked me.<br>It was my father, the mind reader, who answered. "There are a_ lot_ of boys in school who are interested in Nessie, but they won't ask her out with us around. Without us there, she will be surrounded by them."  
>"Don't worry about them," mom said. "Now finish your breakfast."<p>

As I'm finishing the last of my breakfast, I hear a car pull up in front of the house.  
>"Oh, great. The dog is here," my Aunt Rosalie says.<p>

"Okay, I'll see you later," I said grabbing my bag.  
>"Oh, Renesmee?"<br>"Yeah mom?"  
>"Your father and I are going hunting later. We'll be hunting outside of Forks, so we'll be back by tomorrow afternoon."<br>"Okay," I said as I went outside. There was Jacob, standing in front of his Volkswagen Rabbit.

"Do you need a ride to school?"  
>"Yeah, thanks."<br>When I got into his car, one of my favourite songs popped into my head. This song – or at least the very beginning – fit the way I felt.

_I don't think that passenger seat  
>Has ever looked this good to me<em>

"So, how was your night?" he asked.  
>"Same old, same old. You know, it sucks being the only one sleeping while your whole family is wide awake. What about you? What's new? " I asked.<br>"Nothing really. The pack and I have been running patrols, but so far there's nothing."  
>This was no surprise to me. Since I turned 7, my family has been expecting a visit from the Volturi. Aunt Alice has been watching their decisions, so we'll be ready when they come.<br>"You don't have to do that."  
>"It's fine. We don't mind. I want you to be safe."<p>

As I'm looking at him, I notice the colour of his eyes. When it's dark, they seem almost black, but in the sunlight, they look like they're shining with different colours. I try counting them but there are so many.

_He tells me about his night  
>And I count the colors in his eyes<em>

"Oh, yeah, Paul and Rachel are getting married."  
>"Really? Since when?"<br>"He proposed to her last night."  
>"That's great!"<p>

First Sam and Emily, then Jared and Kim, now Paul and Rachel. It seems that the wolves are either getting married or falling in love, which makes me wonder. . .  
>"Do you think you`ll ever fall in love, Jake?"<br>"Nah, I don't think so."  
>"Why? I know there are a lot of girls interested in you, here in Forks. I hear all of them talking about you whenever they see you."<br>"Well, I'm not interested, so I doubt I'll fall in love with them."

I chuckle quietly to myself, but I'm sure he can hear. I'm relieved that he wouldn't fall in love with any of the girls in my school. The ones interested in him are all stuck-up and only care about his looks. A part of me felt sad for some reason, like I hope he's wrong about not falling in love.

_He'll never fall in love he swears  
>As he runs his fingers through his hair<br>I'm laughing cause I hope he's wrong_

It's not like I don't love him. He's my best friend. Over the past few years, I've loved him like a brother. We did everything together. He'd tell me all his favourite things. He told me his favourite movies, books, places, and music. By now I'd know all his favourite songs.

"Hey, I've got a new blonde joke for Rosalie. Here, listen to this. 'Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. The first blonde says: _"I can't seem to get this door unlocked!  
><em>The second blonde says:_ "Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!" _ What do you think?"

I was barely listening. I was thinking about my relationship with him. How he'd always see me as a friend and nothing else.

"Nessie? Hey, are you listening?"  
>"Yeah, it was funny." I tried to smile, but it felt weird. I don't think he noticed.<p>

_I don't think it ever crossed his mind  
>He tells a joke I fake a smile<br>That I know all his favourite songs_

It was quiet in the car now, so I let my mind wander while Jacob was driving. I thought about the memories with him:

When we talked about our favourite things, he always said his favourite colour's green, while mine is blue. For some reason, I hated the colour green. I didn't know why he loved it. We disagreed about which colour was better and other random subjects. You'd think Jake loves to argue.

That other time Aunt Alice tried to throw him a birthday party on the seventeenth a few years ago. Of course he didn't want one. Who would, if they were staying the same forever?

The time I first came to his house in La Push. I met his sister Rachel that time as well. She was so beautiful. It's no question that Paul loves her. Jacob says she's a pain, but to me, she's been nothing but nice.

I remember the first time I saw his father, Billy, I thought he looked so much like Jacob, particularly his eyes. I figured Jake must have inherited them from him.

Then there are the memories that involve him, along with my uncles. Sometimes they would make fun of us. Then there are the times when they try to get me to feel embarrassed. Almost all the time, when Jacob isn't around, Uncle Emmett would ask me if I love him. I would always say no, but lately, it seems more and more untrue, like I'm lying about my feelings. Luckily, Uncle Jasper hasn't noticed. It's hard hiding your true feelings around him, but I manage to.

_And I could tell you his favourite color's green  
>He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth<br>His sister's beautiful, he has his father's eyes  
>And if you asked me if I love him,<br>I'd lie_

We finally arrive in the school parking lot and I spot the crowd of boys waiting for me. This always happens, but when I'm with my "brothers" they quickly disperse. I groaned at the thought of all these guys asking me out.

"What is it?" Jake asked.  
>I point towards the group of guys in the lot. "They're waiting for me," I said.<br>If only there was a way to tell them I'm not interested. I glance at Jacob. He looks annoyed and some other emotion I can't read. Anger, jealousy maybe? I push that thought to the back of my mind. What should I do about these boys? With my family, they'd leave me alone because my father and uncles look menacing when they want to be. I need someone just as terrifying as Uncle Emmett to scare them off. It hit me just then.

"Jake, get out of the car," I said.  
>"What?"<br>"Get out of the car, walk around and open my door for me," I explained.  
>"Why?"<br>"Just do it."  
>He looked confused but did as he was told. The moment the guys saw him, they were intimidated. When Jacob opened my door, their mouths fell open. They were very surprised to find me with him. I stifled a laugh.<p>

"So what's the point of all this?" he asked as I got out of his car.  
>"It's to scare them off so they won't ask me out," I answered.<br>"Okay then. I'd better go."  
>"'Kay, bye Jake," I said, before hugging him.<br>He started walking to the driver's side, then stopped abruptly and turned.

"Nessie?"  
>"Yeah?"<br>"Do you want to go cliff diving later?"  
>"Sure, I'd love to." I loved cliff diving. It was so much fun, jumping off a cliff and feeling that rush of adrenalin in your veins.<p>

"Okay, I'll pick you up at the cottage later."  
>"`kay, bye Jake," I said as he got in his car and drove away.<p>

_**Later on**_

"So, how was school today?" Aunt Alice asked on the ride home.  
>She had been the one to pick me up after school, so I guess mom and dad already left on their hunting trip.<br>"School was okay-ish."  
>"Okay-ish?"<p>

"Today, everyone was talking about me. I heard them in the hallways. They saw me with Jacob, and now the whole school thinks he's my boyfriend."  
>"Don't worry, by tomorrow, they will be talking about something else."<br>"You are so lucky you can see the future, Aunt Alice."  
>"I can't see everything. I can't see your future, or the wolves. Speaking of the future, what are you doing later?"<br>"Ummm, me and Jake are going cliff diving."

"Okay, that's good."  
>"Why?"<br>"Well, Rosalie and I are going up to Port Angeles. We might even take Emmett and Jasper with us."  
>I groaned. "Shopping again? You always go shopping. What are you going to do with all the clothes you buy?"<br>"Wear them, of course."  
>"But after you wear them, you practically throw them away."<br>"Whatever," she said.

When I got to the cottage, I threw my bag on one of the chairs in the living room and dashed to my room. I ran into my closet. There were so many pairs of clothes, thanks to Aunt Alice and her shopping. What was I going to wear when going cliff diving? Well, a swimsuit of course, but which one? There were a bunch of them in my closet. Then, I'd need something over it.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps outside the house. I recognized the familiar woodsy, musky scent, with a hint of wet dog. He knocked on the door.

"Come, in Jake!" I called.  
>I barely heard him coming. I was too busy figuring out what to wear. I grabbed a swimsuit at random, put it on, and changed quickly into pair of jeans and a t-shirt.<br>"Nessie? Where are you?"  
>"In the closet," I said, "Just wait a minute."<br>I grabbed my favourite purse by the door and walked out of the closet.

Jacob was there, with his back turned. I looked around him to see what he was staring at. On that wall, there was a collage of pictures. Some were of me; a few were pictures that I took of the house and my family. The rest of them were pictures I had of him. I had a bunch of them around my room: on my bedside table, on my desk and under my bed.

"Where did you get all these photos?" He pointed to the pictures of him.  
>"I took them when you weren't looking," I said.<br>"Wow, quite the little spy you are," he said.  
>How typical of him. I have so many pictures of him, and all he says is 'Where did you get them?' Wouldn't he wonder why I have them? Wouldn't realize that I know almost everything about him?<p>

_He looks around the room  
>Innocently overlooks the truth<br>Shouldn't a light go on?  
>Doesn't he know that I've had him memorized for so long?<em>

More flashbacks enter my mind:

Memories of Jacob's arguments with Aunt Rosalie flicker through my head. He had told a dumb blonde joke which she didn't find funny. She started insulting him about his lack of proper eyesight, because dogs could only see in black and white, and some other things I'd rather not say.

He nearly ran from the house, looking very upset. I scolded Aunt Rosalie for being rude to Jacob, and then ran after him. He was easy enough to find, I just followed his scent. When I found him, he was looking very sad, almost like he was about to cry.

I had never seen him cry. Sure, I've seen him shed a tear in his wolf form, but that was 7 years ago. Besides, it's not the same as seeing him shed tears as a human. No one in my family has, except for my mom, and that was before I was born.

He hides his tears like I hide my love for him.

_He sees everything black and white  
>Never let nobody see him cry<br>I don't let nobody see me wishing he was mine_

"So, are you ready to go?" Jacob asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.  
>"Yeah, just give me one moment," I said. I walked to the living room, grabbed my wallet from my schoolbag and put it in my purse. "Okay, now I'm ready." Jacob led the way outside. Suddenly, he said, "Race you to the car!" and took off.<p>

His outburst was so unexpected, yet I just rolled my eyes and ran after him. Even though he had the headstart, I was the first one to the car. "So, are you ready for cliff diving?" he asked as he came into view."Yeah, definitely!" I replied. Okay then," he said as he opened my door for me. "Let's go!"

"So, I thought you hated the colour green?" Jake said, as we were on the road to La Push.  
>"Huh?" I wondered why he brought that up. It's been a long time since we talked about that.<br>"The colour of your clothes," he replied. "You're wearing green."  
>I looked down, and sure enough, I was wearing a green t-shirt. That's what I get for choosing a t-shirt while distracted.<p>

"Oh, I was a bit preoccupied at the time, so I just grabbed the nearest t-shirt."  
>"Well, I like it. Green looks good on you," he said.<br>"I still prefer blue," I said. He sighed. "Why don't you like green?" he asked. I pointed out the window, towards the many trees there were. "There's enough green here. We don't need more of it," I said.

"You know what? For your next birthday, I'm getting you something green, so that you'll like it," he told me. "Okay, then on your birthday, I'm giving you something blue," I replied. "Oh, and I'm getting your sister to help me plan a birthday surprise for you."

_I could tell you his favorite colour's green  
>He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth<br>His sister's beautiful, he has his father's eyes  
>And if you asked me if I love him,<br>I'd lie_

When we got to his house, I noticed that it was empty. "Where is everyone?" I asked.  
>"Billy's at Sue's place, and Rachel went to Port Angeles," Jacob answered.<br>" Maybe she'll run into Aunt Alice and Rosalie."  
>"She should. That's why she went shopping," he said. "She needs help planning the wedding."<p>

"Are we going cliff diving or not?" I said. "Yeah, just give me a sec," he replied. He went to his room, while I stayed in the kitchen. So many memories are in this house. I pretty much live here now. Jacob comes back, holding two towels. He hands one to me, and throws the other one over his shoulder.

_**Afterwards**_

"I had an awesome time, Jake. Thanks," I said. He walked me to the doorway. From what I sensed, there was no one in the main house. When I looked at him, he seemed like he wanted to say something too. I waited, but he just turned and walked away. So many things were running through my head. I wanted to say them out loud, but I was afraid of ruining things between us. Why can't he see that I'm waiting for him to make his move?

_He stands there then walks away  
>My God if I could only say<br>I'm holding every breath for you..._

When I was sure he left, I ran to the cottage. Spending an afternoon with him was great. It makes me think about how fun it is to hang out with him. It's nice being his friend, and I don't want to ruin that, if he doesn't feel the same.

So many secrets are shared between us. I remember visiting him without him knowing I was coming. Instead of going to the front door, I went around to his bedroom window. I saw him playing guitar. I was surprised. When he saw me, he was embarrassed. He made me swear not to tell anyone, which was kinda hard, considering the fact that dad is a mind reader. I promised anyway, and he said he would play for me. He was really good.

When we talk it seems as though he knows exactly what I'm thinking. Except for when we talk about our love lives. I'd tell him about some of the girls who crush on him. He doesn't seem interested in anyone. When he asks me if I like anyone, I always say I don't like anyone. He always believes me, even now, when it's more of a lie than the truth.

I change into my pyjamas and crash on my bed. Luckily, I didn't have homework today. I fall asleep thinking about Jacob.

My dreams were filled with scenarios involving him. We were cliff diving, hunting, and just hanging out. One scenario stood out from the rest. We were together, walking along La Push Beach, and he suddenly stops, and admits he is in love with me. Then he takes me into his arms and kisses me.

Like after any good dream, I wake up wishing it was real._ My god, he's beautiful. _That's the first time I've thought those words. I always try to hide my thoughts from dad. Sometimes, I get mom to shield my thoughts. Luckily, they're still out hunting.

_Time for school, _I thought to myself. I got dressed and put on my makeup. _I wish he would say he loves me. _It's probably a doomed effort, but there's no harm in trying. It would be a miracle if he actually said he loves me.

_He'd never tell you but he can play guitar  
>I think he can see through everything<br>But my heart  
>First thought when I wake up is<br>My God he's beautiful  
>So I put on my makeup<br>And pray for a miracle_

_Yes I could tell you his favourite colour's green  
>He loves to argue oh and it kills me<br>His sisters beautiful he has his father's eyes  
>And if you asked me if I love him<br>If you asked me if I love him  
>I'd lie<em>


End file.
